sticksandbones IC Inbox

[cryopathy]

kiera canorus aurelius

netbook · overflow

©

weasel's note: kiera's handwriting is a neat, flowing script somewhere between print and cursive.

they can most often be found at the barn, either tending to animals or in the attached stablemaster's quarters, or at the watchtower bar, either as a patron or occasionally tending bar.

plotting contact: PM // fuckweasel // discord @ fuckweasel

Comments

[cryopathy]

[kiera appreciates that luca goes first -- it keeps him in their eyeline, and his back to them rather than forcing them to expose theirs to him. they wouldn't say this is pleasant by any stretch of the imagination, but it is easier.]

It'll help my nerves. [they say once out of earshot of anyone else. at least i hope it will, they don't say aloud.]

[unheiring]

Then I'm glad for it.

[He keeps a healthy distance between the two of them. And maybe it's a little easier to say what comes next.]

I am... sure you have realized it but. Clive is gone.

[cryopathy]

[kiera can only nod. she hasn't dealt with grief very well since their father died, especially acknowledging it out loud when it's so fresh. instead of dwelling or even confirming that she already knew, she turns it around.]

I saw the tavern. But you seem... alright? [it's almost suspicious. nothing like foul play, but the fact that luca isn't losing his mind in the forest or going near comatose with grief in his quarters is very odd -- especially when paired with his new appearance.]

[unheiring]

I wasn't.

[There's no forest to look to here. Instead, he glances up at the sky.]

I tore into the woods. Zahliya tried to stop me so I - [His words halt, then quiver.] I hurt him. Not physically, mind you. And when that wasn't enough, I tore into Zonari next.

[His shoulders tremble just slightly.]

I exhausted myself in the woods. I wanted that thing to find me.

[cryopathy]

[kiera stops mid-step to look at him, fear of luca falling away instantly and being replaced with fear for him.

luca is quick to specify that he didn't physically harm zahliya, but the mention of zonari immediately makes kiera's blood run cold. if he picked a fight with her, surely she'd aim to finish it. and although kiera still believes the gargoyle could be of use, and admittedly enjoys her company, more than anything, they worry for luca's wellbeing.]

Did she hurt you? Did the Forest hurt you?

[unheiring]

Physically? No. [He shakes his head, grimacing at the memory.] She had some choice words for me but... She was hardly wrong.

[His hands shift, wrapping around one another and fiddling anxiously, almost. He casts a look over his shoulder, just to make sure they're still there. It's only once he's assured himself of that much that he continues...]

Eventually I collapsed. Hit my head. And while I was there, I dreamed. [He turns to face them fully.] I dreamed of home. Of how things would have been if we had stayed. Months passed. And at the end of it all, I -

[He draws in a breath. He's had to acknowledge his newfound gifts, but actually speaking the words aloud? He hasn't let himself do so.]

I killed the Phoenix.

[His eyes blaze with the claimed power, evidence enough of the truth.]

[cryopathy]

[if she wasn't already in shock before, this is certainly enough to drop her jaw. the implication of everything... that the dream was real, actually happened, with the physical evidence. that it was possible for the phoenix to die, but luca to live. and he says "we," but once again, kiera is reminded of how long they've sat idle, never once thinking of a solution to deal with the phoenix, then along came clive to deal with it so swiftly...

once the surprise wears off, their face and their gaze falls. they've failed him, time and time again. he had to do it all himself.]

... I'm sorry.

[unheiring]

For what, Kiera?

[He knows they're afraid, but he holds his hands out to them all the same. His smile is warm and earnest. There is so much light radiating from him, happiness. Comfort, at last, within his own skin.]

You were there, with me. You never let me face it alone.

[He doesn't add that there was one other. Not yet. Let this be a happy conversation between them for once.]

[cryopathy]

[that part of them that they'll never escape is still wary of the phoenix's power, still cries out from deep inside that he is danger and pain and death, but kiera doesn't shy away this time. they take his hands with only a moment's hesitation, and the immediate warmth makes their apprehension fall away. there is no danger in luca, but the safety and comfort of a family's hearth in winter, the sunbeam for which a weary cat yearns. his words only serve to cement the feeling. for what feels like a dozen times in the past few weeks, they feel a sting in their eyes, though both are visible this time.]

I was? I --

[their voice cracks, and they laugh once in shame. it's been an age since that happened.]

... I'm glad. Thank you for letting me help. I'm sorry I don't remember.

[unheiring]

As if I gave you a choice. From the moment I told you I was suffering, from the moment you saw me fall and return, you got to work. Even dragged your strange, rock-licking friend into it. You two found out everything I needed to know. You chased me through the woods when I was half-mad and did all you could to put me right. And when it came time...

[He just gives a nod. He doesn't mention the way her face had contorted as the memory faded, as if something had struck her. He doesn't bring it up, because he doesn't want her to worry. Not when it could have just as easily been a muscle ache or hangover.]

You went through hell for me, Kiera. And I am so sorry that I ever resented you.

[Because he had, even if he'd never spoke it aloud. Resented her in the same way he'd resented Zahliya. He'd held them both to a standard they could never achieve, because he never dared ask for help.]

I wouldn't be here without you.

[He squeezes her hands, even if all he really wants to do is pull her in for a tight hug. Maybe she'll see the way his arms flex and relax with the desire.]

It has been strange, though. I still feel that grief, and I know it should be brighter. Angrier. But at the same time, I have experienced several months. I have healed, even without realizing it.

[cryopathy]

["rock-licking friend" hits kiera in the chest like a blow. ignatius has weighed heavy on her mind lately, and while she's never doubted that their friendship is deeply meaningful to them, this only confirms it. luca is the most precious person to kiera, so of course helping him would be important to iggy as well.

they know luca's body language when he wants affection, and by this point they have no qualms in pulling him into a tight hug.]

Don't apologize. I would do anything for you. [she doesn't say that she already knew some part of him resented her. it would only be twisting the knife, and she doesn't hold it against him. if she was in his place, she would despise her.]

I'm... relieved that time has made it a little easier for you. But if you need anything from me, to help more...

[they let the offer hang in the air for a moment before releasing him so they can look him in the eye once more.]

... Did you mean what you said? You want to be -- the Sun Goddess's Priest? [surely he understands how strange it is for kiera to wrap her head around, especially after luca admits to having finally killed the god he has resented for so long.]

[unheiring]

I always know where to find you. [The smile he gives as he leans back is as warm as ever. A silent promise that he won't try to face things alone.] Trust me, there is much more for me to tell. A lot... happened.

[Including, hilariously enough, potentially finding someone new? He can't imagine that conversation is going to go well, though. He doesn't want to ruin this moment.

Instead, he nods in response to her question.]

I was considering it even before all of this. The guardians here all serve the goddesses, and they were so kind to me. [He holds his arm up, showing off the bracelet still there.] If they trust her, then I trust her. Especially since both Clive and Joshua were also willing to cast their lot behind her.

... and, maybe I want to see for myself, that there can be good deities out there.

[cryopathy]

[naturally, kiera is curious, but where they would press almost anyone else about it without mercy, they're content to let luca rest.]

You can tell me when you're ready.

[his explanation regarding beiwe, she takes in silently, brows furrowed and lips pulled into a straight line. even despite clive, the guardians, and everyone, it's difficult to believe entirely, but... kiera is with luca. she always has been, and always will be.]

We can see together, then. I want to help.

[unheiring]

When I'm ready, then.

[For now, Luca takes their hand, leading them toward Arcadia. Maybe he moves just a little slower, lingering in the moment. He's grateful, so grateful for everything Kiera has done for him. He feels like he hasn't been able to tell them that enough.

He does pause midstep, though. He turns to look at her, then looks back down. If his eyes glimmer faintly with a sheen of tears, that's between him and himself, thank you.]

Only if you're sure. You have dealt with enough at the hands of other gods.

[cryopathy]

[kiera has no room to judge; they were brought nearly to tears only moments ago, and luca has always been better at expressing himself than they are.]

I'm sure. [to use his own words against him...] If you trust her, I do, too. With my life. [they don't say with his life, but that's part of the reason they're here. to support him, and still have his back should everything else go to shit.]

[unheiring]

Well, then it's settled. I will have to meet with her soon. Let her know of everything that's happened. And... own up for the things I said to Zahliya, too.

[He grimaces at that.]

I don't suppose you'll stand by me through that will you.

[cryopathy]

[while kiera doesn't know exactly what was said, it can't have been good. they're just grateful that they don't have to deal with such things in their own personal life.]

If you want me there, I will.

[unheiring]

I'll let you know. Later.

[After they've talked about so much more. For now he leads them into Arcadia and closes the door firmly behind him. Hopefully that'll discourage anyone from coming in and asking questions.]

[cryopathy]

[kiera can't help but chuckle at luca's attempt to keep others out. they might not actually be able to stop anyone, but the fact that he tries is... adorable, in a way.

rather than make fun of him for that, though, they quirk a brow in his direction.]

Back to work already?

[unheiring]

Just making sure you were in your safe place.

[He winks, before reaching up to grab a bottle, then a small jar. He keeps his back to her as he mixes a sweet, bubbling rose with a pinch of edible glitter, then hands it over to her.]

Here. You're going to need it.

[He inhales, bracing his arms against the bar itself.]

An emissary followed me back to Renova. One that I... knew.

[cryopathy]

[their face lights up, assuming this is a thank-you, but... ah. it turns out to be a pacifier. oh, well. they're glad to have it anyway.

they very nearly choke on it at this revelation, though.]

An Emissary? [their mind gets away from them. they don't want to imagine why luca would "know" one.] Luca...

[unheiring]

It... isn't so surprising. I caused plenty of trouble in Cataega, and it isn't as if my appearance is particularly subtle. It stood to reason that they would have wanted to know more.

[He winces before he continues, knowing that Kiera will likely try to wring his neck. Or at least check to see if his sanity was intact.]

He... is not as bad as you might think. He helped me, too.

[cryopathy]

[kiera isn't chiding him directly, at least not yet, but they don't entirely buy his story, either.]

I'm sure they would want to know more so that they could harm you. What did this Emissary do that was so helpful?

[unheiring]

[Luca is quiet. There was much that River had done for him. To point any of it out, however, was liable to invite jealousy within Kiera. To make them feel as if they had failed.

He rolls a few words on his tongue, before offering...]

The Phoenix possessed me. Tried to drag me to Castilla. You chased me tirelessly and freed me from its grasp, but we were too weak to get back. You sent Polaris for help. He came to save us.

[That was the story he had been told.]

[cryopathy]

[all the tension in their body from earlier in the evening returns at the mention of their birthplace. the rest of the story only serves to frustrate and confuse kiera. trusting luca comes mostly naturally, at this point in their life, despite the phoenix being the butterfly's bitter enemy. the leviathan, however, has threatened to swallow all throughout history.

kiera is silent for a long time, swallowing damn near all of their glass in one go. when they finish and finally speak, they're not looking at him. it isn't that they don't believe and trust him, they don't understand their own choices.]

Why would I ever trust an Emissary when we were both vulnerable?